Chaucer, Don't Hate Me

There once were two boys who liked the same girl
Though the thought of approaching her made them both want to hurl.
Each of the boys were both quiet and meek,
Equally handsome and equally geek.
One was named Archie, the other named Pat –
Both loved Emily, they were sure of that.
“Alas!” cried out Pat, “for I saw her first!”
“My heart,” swooned Archie, “I think it shall burst!”
Though the two were best friends, they knew they would fight
To hang out with Em, even just for one night.
Meanwhile, Emily was tot’lly clueless;
Which makes the whole story quite a true mess.
One fair day the boys saw they had a chance
To get a date to the Mistletoe Dance.
“I pray," said Archie, "that she will just say yes.
That would rid me of all my distress."
And as he went to go find dear Emily,
He could hear the gods whisper "Victory."
Pat had a different wish for the dance,
And that was to simply start a romance.
"I pray," said Pat, "that we dance together
Because that will lead to love forever."
Emily, however, wished for much more.
She wanted a night like none she'd had before.
"I pray," said she, "that the boy who wins me
cares more than anyone; that is the key."
The next day, Archie asked her to be his date.
He beat Pat to it, and Pat was too late.
Emily said yes just as Archie hoped
But since Pat was his friend, he did not gloat.
Instead, he waited for the night calmly,
Did not act out of the ordinary.
But the day of the dance, something was wrong:
His throat was sore, his ears rang like a gong.
His temperature was one hundred two
"Emily," he croaked, "I can't dance with you."
She was very upset to lose her date,
But Emily thought, "It must fate."
She decided to go to the dance stag
Hoping it wouldn't be a total drag.
Pat didn't think he'd have much fun either
But Em would be there; he'd at least get to see her.
The music was loud, the dancing was fast,
Pat was nervous, but soon it had passed
For when he saw Emily all dressed up
He was overcome with feelings of love.
They shyly locked eyes from across the room
But soon were so close, Pat could smell her perfume.
Luckily for them, the music slowed down
(For when Pat boogied, he looked like a clown).
But a slow dance, he could do, and they swayed
Until the Boyz II Men song began to fade.
Neither wanted the three minutes to end;
They were smitten, neither had to pretend.
The night was grand for Pat and Emily,
And they walked home together happily.
None of our heroes would have ever guessed
That they'd get their wish: Archie his yes,
Pat his dance, and Emily her suitor:
A boy who truly desired to woo her.
People get what they want: fame, love, glory!
But how they get it is another story.
Fate and destiny can be quite tricky,
You can get your 'yes' but still get sick(y).
Some days you'll be crushed by the fortune wheel,
But some days you'll be on top: what a deal!
‘Tis the end of my tale, hope ‘twasn’t a fright,
To all a good Christmas, and to all a good night!